I did find some adventure, in the form of leaving my purse at the bar. My enormous red purse containing my only car key and a copy of "A Beginner's Guide to Fellatio." If I had left it anywhere but Paddy Red's, I might have been slightly embarassed. However, that bar has seen me dissolve so much of my dignity in Jagermeister and whiskey that I felt nothing but extreme relief. A replacement car key for a Mini Cooper ain't cheap, especially when you are struggling to just make the monthly payment on the Mini Cooper.
In addition to losing my purse, I was able to steal some salt water taffy, get lost in an apartment building, and opt for the stairs over the elevator because I could not seem to get the elevator to work no matter how hard I concentrated on the buttons.
Thank the heavens for my friend Cole. He saved my weekend in so many ways. Not only did he manage to keep me upright physically, he kept me upright emotionally. A silly girl like myself is extremely luck to have a perfect boy like him around.
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3 comments:
still can’t believe we got reprimanded for throwing salt-water taffy on the floor. I thought it looked lovely. The only downside of the evening was the blonde girl that told me “gay people aren’t born gay” and fervently insisted that I was Jewish. At least we didn’t fall out of the third-story window.
p.s. I can't type for shit today, hence the previously deleted comments.
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